Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If i come over, it means nothing
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
