I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
