So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Randomize
