it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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