i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
