D3 body, D1 cock
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
