I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
