apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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