Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
