Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
