HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
