I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
