your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
