ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
