The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
