Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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