I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I understand Curling. That high.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
