does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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