i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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