I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
