he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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