Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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