glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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