I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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