3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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