Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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