Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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