i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
