The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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