I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
