id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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