Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
