wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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