She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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