I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
