Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
