i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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