Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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