sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
