Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
