I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
