I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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