I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
