I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
