on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
