Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
