nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
