One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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