I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
