I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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