Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Boobs are out for the taking
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
